Don’t save them for they don’t need to be saved!
You are not responsible for saving anyone,you are willingly choosing to do so.
On your own terms,coming from a space of need.
The “need” to be needed is deeper and fonder than one might grasp easily at first.So for the overthinked need to be in control while being fixated on the concept of doing things “the right way” (your own perception of the right way).
These hollow-less than powerful- helping/fixing urges that we take pride in,are truly easily readable to manipulators that will take advantage of.
Being narrow or even blind sighted to why that urging need to be the saviour is nothing but being somehow on the margin of naivety!
Sorry to say this,but we have all been there at least once in a lifetime.
Now just a couple of times is the norm of any human being with an open heart to the better version of humanity,but turning the “saviour” into a life goal is not so much of a realistic point of view.
Facing yourself with the reason of being sometimes (if not most) leftout,drained
hurt,used or any other synonym in the”less of a happy mode”dictionary,only to find out that you solely have done this to yourself,is not a really the easiest thing to chew on.
No problem is solved if not acknowledged to start with.
With a certain level of conviction and a whole lot of effort being put into something/someone
it becomes very hard to filter in any other concept than the process itself.
In other words,when u have been working hard into achieving a goal,the thought of why u initially started it becomes hard to summon.
Wanting to do virtuous acts of kindness inorder to be a virtuous person is the exact opposite of virtue. “The good deed” notion is only as good as it is connected to the core place it started from.
Being the anchor for an addict to help one out is a real act of kindness,while doing so to feel the pleasure of being “that anchor” is a good deed coming from a place of ego!
It can be both you might say!?
Yes indeed,but even a tiny black dot will stain a clear white sheet of paper turning it into a draft rather than a presentable letter.
Being a support for the broken hearted is way different than being a back plan for anyone or whoever.
One comes from a place of compassion while the other comes from a place of lack!
Helping out a lost soul is a spiritual journey but being an unpaid 24/7 personal assistant for a needy manipulator is an act of neediness for being needed!
Finishing loose ends for everyone around and keeping tabs on their personal details is an overthinker’s need of control rather than it is anything else for that matter.
Have you ever thought that “selfless” acts can come from a place of ego,needing to be needed,lack or even an urge of control?
Eventually it will end up clinged into strings of expectations and own inner turbulent feelings.
So,it kind of says a whole lot about you rather than it actually says about others you are again “willingly” saving!
Let’s face it,people around us have been dealing with their own mess(sort of speech) way before we entered their lives and will probably deal with it way after we’re gone.But cycles of repeated patterns are our own choices in life whether we admit it or not.
That urge of making our circle of people based on advised,organized and visualized entities.
It turns out meaning we are the ones spreading our webs in people’s lives for own fulfilment.
And that is “NO VIRTUE”!!!
On a different other dimension of virtue,virtuous individuals don’t take credit nor get hurt when being ghosted or unappreciated.
They don’t claim there dues and don’t keep score of all the sacrifices they have done for others.
They don’t self blame nor do they regret their efforts being thrown in the wind.They don’t console themselves of being the “better person” nor get shreded down when their kindness falls short.
Sink into the ulterior motive for being a “giver” with no limits and you will abstractly see why the “takers” you picked had no limits what so ever.
This breakthrough will sure save “you” at least,from being worn out,hurt and broken every single time.
An illusion of a saviour in the beginning only makes a self claimed martyr at the end of each story pattern.
Intentions are everything,the real deep shadow ones!!!